Saturday, February 16, 2013

I've changed

It's always good to get jolted back to who I am, or at least who I want to be. That's been this weekend. Catholics believe that lent is a time to get back to this place ... Lent started last week and I have heard several conversations lately about what people will be giving up. Lent for me will be the time to the place of who I really am ... who I was meant to be. (It's surprisingly similar to Ramadan which is a time Muslims try to purify themselves by practicing patience and kindness.)

So where did this jolt I am referring to come from?

I think getting slapped upside the head with the illness creates a chain reaction. First, I went through survival mode. What do I have to do next? Go to surgery. Go to another surgery. Find a doctor, prepare for chemo. Eat the right food. Find the right medicine to combat side effects.

Then, I climbed up the mountain to take a look at the other side and ask -- What if? I know this will surprise most of you, but the answer I found was that life would move on without me. I know you were thinking that the world would evaporate without me, but alas, I'm not that important.

And now .... finally .... it's time to see life changes. How can I put every effort into the life I've been given? This is the fun part. What "coincidence" is going to happen next? Coincidences in my life usually highlight a growth opportunity. It was a coincidence for example that this time in my life coincided with Starting a new job. it put things into prospective. This coincidence emphasized that I am on the right road; if I allow it to, life is about to change. Yeah yeah ... I hear ya ... sounds like hogwash. You could be right, but my gut says otherwise ... and I may have a flabby gut (at the moment), but it's pretty smart.

Another coincidence was that right before I was diagnosed, I forged new friendships with a group of woman (and one man) I work with. Lymphoma has actually strengthened these friendships. The verdict is still out, but I think I'm learning - how to worry less and help more? It's not brain surgery, but it takes just the right situation to move a speeding train. So ..... I'm a changed woman.

I'd tell you more about the coincidences in my life, but I'm already feeling like I'm metaphorically in my skivvies so that's all you get today ... (did you know skivvies was spelled with two v's?)

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