Sunday, December 9, 2012

Longer and longer

It has taken me longer to recover this time. I am not quite sure why. I am tired still and the nausea has caught up with me. I really can't eat anything without feeling sick. Even if it is something that I really wanted.

When going to chemo this last time I was full of anticipation, anxiety and nausea. I am not sure why. I could not sit still - it was awful. In that respect the recovery has been similar.

I guess I have not posted much this week becuase all it would be is complaining. I am doing okay I guess - looking at the cirucmstances. I guess the extra pressure of the end of the semesster is adding up too. I have finished writing my final and after tomorrow I will have successfull (I hope) imparted knowledge of amplification on my first set of graduate students. There are things I did that worked well and some things that did not. Someone told me you have to teach a class 3 times before you actually like it. I am looking foward to that.

Next week is going to be a big week for me... I go on Thursday for chemo this week (not wednesday) but before chemo is the "big scan". This scan is to see if the cancer is gone - it could change my treatment either way. I am nervous. I will post results as soon as I know.

Although I know I have done 4 and there are 4 left ... meaning 1/2 way... that is so big. I know the hell that I have been through for the past 4 and I have to do it 4 more times!?!?!? I guess for me number 5 will be a much better place to be because as Jennie said to me yesterday - 5 is way more than 3. So those are my thoughts... still not eating much but losing weight is not a bad side effect either. Thank goodness I had a little extra cushion to lose. :)

I also guess part of my turmoil is that we are not going to California for Christmas this year. We flip-flop family holidays and it would be a Christmas in California. I am sad because I know Grandpa really wants us there. I wish we could. It makes me sad. Instead I will get to have treatment  #6 the day after Christmas. That sounds like so much more fun....

Well this blog is getting depressing ... lets try to end it with something positive... so here is a picture of my new doggie nephew Winchester - isn't he the cutest thing ever? And not to be outdone - my other doggie nephew Chase... now that is the way to make a blog happy :)

1 comment:

  1. I love you. You are amazing, you are strong and you are handling this better than I could ever imagine I would. I have so much respect for you.

    I don't know what to say sometimes, but I am always thinking of you. Kaitlyn is lucky to have you as a godmother and we really can't wait to see you!